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Monday, August 29, 2005

Why is it that Sorrow Unites Us

and so often happy occasions have the opposite affect?

How many times have we been to a Wedding, Bar or Bat Mitsvah a supposedly happy birthday or anniversary party only to hear people quarrel or say unkind things.

Yet at tragic times, people join together.

I wonder why this is?

In my own personal experience I have found this to be true.

On the one hand, my father died suddenly a few years ago after falling from a ladder in his garage. I had just spoken to him earlier in the day and a number of my siblings made a habit of speaking to him daily since many of us live far away.

It was a terrible shock to hear he had died.

We sat together in the house and were so very very sad. I started to cry and I remember my sister in law who has always seemed to dislike me before then, offered my a tissue and patted my shoulder.

We all hugged each other and cried and no one said one thing negative to each other.

That same year my sister was married, the youngest of eight, to a wonderful husband.

Instead of being happy for her a number of people in my family were really mean about it, since it was in a unitarian church my Catholic sister refused to allow her sons to attend.

Since she had it in a park, others were critical of the rather unusual reception and how casual it was.

Of course everyone should have been happy for her, but people carped and were as so often happens at weddings simply standing around bickering.

I have seen this time and time again.

I dont know why!

8 Comments:

Blogger Becky said...

So true, I wonder why.... The saying, "misery loves company comes to mind." It doesn't necessarily make sense at all, we unite when sorrow hits us, but say snide, mean things at happy ocassions. I wonder what about sorrow does make us unite though.... It makes you have just the smallest bit of hope though, like as humans we will all ban together when we need to, there must be some divine reason for it...

8:29 AM  
Blogger callieischatty said...

I think thats a good point that its a hopeful thing too Rebecca.

I think their must be some divine reason for people feeling so close at times of sadness.

9:02 AM  
Blogger EXSENO said...

Yes,I feel much like Rebecca, you know the old saying "Never hit a person when they're down."
I think people just forget about everything except how terrible it is to lose someone and their emotions instead of they're greed and envy comes out. Even if they're are a few thinking something bad they wouldn't dare say anything at a time like that it would really make them look like a snake.

I don't take people that make snide remarks seriously anyway, I think they do it out of there own insecurities and immaturity.

9:40 AM  
Blogger mojoala said...

I am probably going to have the same problem with my daughter. It is going to a joint Catholic/Baptist wedding taking place in a Catholic church. Not our Catholic but one 30 miles away because of the convenience of a reception hall next door to the church. In an effort to keep costs down and still keep the event memorable.

And not to mention the fact that most attendees on my side of the family are holy rollers.

life must go on. My own brother thinks I am going to hell because I am Catholic. He is a Penecostal preacher!

The only thing that might bring us together would be the same thing, the death of our father....

12:12 PM  
Blogger mojoala said...

and with that being the case, I don't care to get together anytime soon....

12:13 PM  
Blogger callieischatty said...

I have pretty much detached emotionally from my sisters to be sure.

I am really close to all of my brothers but my sisters are so catty and nasty to me I just unplug.

I attend all family stuff, I do the whole thing, birthdays and all that but emotionally I am not really close to them.

9:33 PM  
Blogger TheChurchMilitant said...

My guess it's because funerals are so very final. They scare the daylights out of us because we are reminded of our mortality. Everybody at a funeral is too busy worrying about the ol' dirt nap to be nasty to each other. (Unless you're Italian. Then you're too busy eating to be nasty.

Remember, funerals are for the living, not the deceased.

On the other hand, marriage is temporary: it lasts only until he earns enough dough to buy her off and get himself a cheerleader. (Unless you're an observant Catholic. Then it lasts until death. This usually requires the female to spend many years knocking sense into the male.)

1:30 PM  
Blogger DIAMONDKT said...

Simple. Sorrow unties us because people take life for granted and those they love for granted. Only when tragedy strikes do people realize what's really important in life and their heart (not material possessions) finally shine thru. It's true you don't know how you good you have it and how thankful you should be until it's all taken from you.

It's a shame that it takes tragedy for goodness to come about, but that's how it seems to work sometimes.

12:31 PM  

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